The posts Matthew Chapter 16 and Matthew Chapter 16 Continued leave me with a strong desire to confront the major crosses in my life.
How, in practical terms, will I do that?
One thought goes back to my first spiritual adviser, Sr. Gertrude Anne, who helped me understand the role recollection plays in a productive prayer life.
By recollection I mean taking a few moments each day to reflect upon events, and more specifically to honestly assess whether or not I took a least one small step that day toward embracing the conversions I seek in my life.
What did I do well, and what did I do poorly?
Here’s an example. In order to fulfill my vocations, I must maintain my health. That necessarily includes a measure of regular exercise. For me, this means a brisk walk of somewhere between 30 and 45 minutes, three to four times a week, usually taken at lunchtime.
In my recollection period, I remind myself of this need, remind myself of the routine I normally follow to meet the need, and then look back over the past few days to see if I’m following through.
If regular exercise is a cross for me to bear, its become a minor one because recollection helped me establish a good habit to meet the need. I still go through stretches when I lose discipline, but generally I keep this routine well, and I get back to it without much suffering when I slip.
Because straying is inevitable, recollection requires the ability to honestly evaluate myself. If I am uncommitted to conversion, or if I consistently allow myself to be deceived, then recollection becomes meaningless. Excuses easily overcome a listless devotion if they are allowed to.
I hope, with the help of the Holy Spirit, that I am able to recognize when my recollection lacks substance, and to correct this when it occurs.
I must be able to make corrections because I have other crosses that are harder to bear. Some I am just recognizing after these last couple posts.
If I am to confront these heavier crosses, I have to use recollection because I know I can’t solve them all at once. They are complicated, and I have too far to go to make it there in one step.
But if I work steadily, if I make a little progress each day in changing from who I am to who I need to be, then I can make serious headway toward bearing these larger crosses with dignity. Perhaps they will also, one day, be transformed into good habits.
Honest recollection is a key component of the journey.
The ability to ask the Holy Spirit for strength and assistance is also key.
And so is keeping my eye on the prize.
The prize, of course, is the ability to better follow Jesus as He promised I could in the passage from Matthew 16.