Today was our regular monthly SFO fraternity meeting. I am leading a formation group halfway through Inquiry. Our subject was the Holy Spirit.
After the conclusion of the formation session and before Mass, the fraternity prays the Liturgy of the Hours as a group. This one Saturday a month is the only time I engage in this type of prayer, so I struggle with the Liturgy, finding it cumbersome and hard to follow. I’m typically so busy trying to follow format and figure out what page to be on that I don’t get much from the exercise.
This morning I decided not to attempt to say the prayers. Instead, I listened silently to the words being spoken, hoping that I might gain something by simply being present as my brothers and sisters prayed.
The canticle (Ezekiel 36:24-28, page 990) included these words, which meshed nicely with the discussion on the Holy Spirit that had taken place in my formation group.
“I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts.”
“I will put my spirit within you and make you live by my statutes, careful to observe my decrees.”
Immediately after this, while I listened to the ongoing prayer with my eyes closed, I thought about what it would be like to levitate during prayer. As soon as that thought was complete, I followed it with “not for my glory, Lord, but for yours.”
I have this thought regularly ever since reading an account of the levitation of St. Thomas Aquinas. Hopefully it is not sinful to aspire to a level of holiness where a miracle of this sort might happen to me.
What was different today is that I immediately experienced a deep pang of recognition that revealed to me the dishonesty in my desire. I knew beyond denying that I wanted this achievement not for His glory, but for mine. I immediately understood this recognition as a revelation of the Holy Spirit. And I immediately understood that I could never experience a miracle such as this as long as my motives were so selfish and lacking in humility.
I struggled to grasp and internalize this for the rest of the Liturgy of the Hours. Then the Mass started and the Gospel was read, and I heard these words from Matthew 23:5 in reference to the teachers of the law and the Pharisees:
“All their works are performed to be seen.”
These words rang in my head as confirmation of the revelation I had just experienced. I don’t know how else to describe what happened to me except to say that today, Jesus spoke directly to me through the Gospel and the Spirit.
I also don’t quite know what to do about it. I don’t think I understand how to gain the degree of humility that this revelation of the Spirit is asking of me.
As much as I have considered conversion, I have little confidence that I know how to make this happen for myself.
As much as I desire holiness, I doubt my ability to achieve it at the depth that I had been fantasizing about.
In formation this morning, I emphasized to my group the radical nature of the change that comes when the Holy Spirit is active in your life. I told them to be prepared for a level of change that will be uncomfortable. They should expect the Spirit to lead them to a place so radically outside of current societal norms that functioning within society on a day to day basis can be a major challenge.
As many times as I have emphasized the ongoing nature of conversion to my group, I realized today that I have been mistaken about my own conversion, thinking that I had already achieved much when in fact I have so very far yet to go.
Today I found out that in truth I have hardly begun the process. And other than to pray for guidance and help, I doubt my capacity for achieving what needs to be achieved.
I can’t help but wonder if Jack Minard had something to do with this. This morning Dick reiterated Jack’s words the last time they spoke. “I’ll put a good word in for all of you when I get there.” And thirty minutes ago I got Sister’s email saying Jack had been called home this morning before my day had gotten started.
It’s not hard at all for me to see Jack’s hand in this. Our questing was similar enough that he would understand more than most how this might impact me. And he would have relished the chance to put this in front of me, thinking it was just what I needed to keep me moving along the path we shared.
So thanks Jack, for one last challenge, one last gift.
Now I need your help to see it through. Pray for me, Jack, as I have been praying for you.
Today was our regular monthly SFO fraternity meeting.I am leading a formation group halfway through Inquiry.Our subject was the Holy Spirit.
After the conclusion of the formation session and before Mass, the fraternity prays the Liturgy of the Hours as a group.This one Saturday a month is the only time I engage in this type of prayer, so I struggle with the Liturgy, finding it cumbersome and hard to follow.I’m typically so busy trying to follow format and figure out what page to be on that I don’t get much from the exercise.
This morning I decided not to attempt to say the prayers.Instead, I listened silently to the words being spoken, hoping that I might gain something by simply being present as my brothers and sisters prayed.
The canticle (page 990) included these words, which meshed nicely with the discussion on the Holy Spirit that had taken place in my formation group.
“I will give you a new heart
And place a new spirit within you,
Taking from your bodies your stony hearts
and giving you natural hearts.
I will put my spirit within you
and make you live by my statutes,
careful to observe my decrees.”
Immediately after this, while I listened to the ongoing prayer with my eyes closed, I thought about what it would be like to levitate during prayer.As soon as that thought was complete, I followed it with “not for my glory, Lord, but for yours.”
This is a thought I have regularly ever since reading an account of the levitation of St. Thomas Aquinas.Hopefully it is not sinful to aspire to a level of holiness where a miracle of this sort might happen to me.
What was different today is that I immediately experienced a deep pang of recognition that revealed to me the dishonesty in my desire.I knew beyond denying that I wanted this achievement not for His glory, but for mine.I immediately understood this recognition as a revelation of the Holy Spirit.And I immediately understood that I could never experience a miracle such as this as long as my motives were so selfish and lacking in humility.
I struggled to grasp and internalize this for the rest of the Liturgy of the Hours.Then the Mass started and the Gospel was read, and I heard these words from Matthew 23:5 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+23&version=NIV) in reference to the teachers of the law and the Pharisees:
“All their works are performed to be seen.”
These words rang in my head as confirmation of the revelation I had just experienced.I don’t know how else to describe what happened to me except to say that today, Jesus spoke directly to me through the Gospel and the Spirit.
I also don’t quite know what to do about it.I don’t think I understand how to gain the degree of humility that this revelation of the Spirit is asking of me.
As much as I have considered conversion, I have little confidence that I know how to make this happen for myself.
As much as I desire holiness, I doubt my ability to achieve it at the depth that I had been fantasizing about.
In formation this morning, I emphasized to my group the radical nature of the change that comes when the Holy Spirit is active in your life.I told them to be prepared for a level of change that will be uncomfortable.They should expect the Spirit to lead them to a place so radically outside of current societal norms that functioning within society on a day to day basis can be a major challenge.
As many times as I have emphasized the ongoing nature of conversion to my group, I realized today that I have been mistaken about my own conversion, thinking that I had already achieved much when in fact I have so very far yet to go.
Today I found out that in truth I have hardly begun the process.And other than to pray for guidance and help, I doubt my capacity for achieving what needs to be achieved.
I can’t help but wonder if Jack Minard had something to do with this.This morning Dick reiterated Jack’s words the last time they spoke.“I’ll put a good word in for all of you when I get there.”And thirty minutes ago I got Sister’s email saying Jack had been called home this morning before my day had gotten started.
It’s not hard at all for me to see Jack’s hand in this.Our questing was similar enough that he would understand more than most how this might impact me.And he would have relished the chance to put this in front of me, thinking it was just what I needed to keep me moving along the path we shared.
So thanks Jack, for one last challenge, one last gift.
Now I need your help to see it through.
Today was our regular monthly SFO fraternity meeting. I am leading a formation group halfway through Inquiry. Our subject was the Holy Spirit.
After the conclusion of the formation session and before Mass, the fraternity prays the Liturgy of the Hours as a group. This one Saturday a month is the only time I engage in this type of prayer, so I struggle with the Liturgy, finding it cumbersome and hard to follow. I’m typically so busy trying to follow format and figure out what page to be on that I don’t get much from the exercise.
This morning I decided not to attempt to say the prayers. Instead, I listened silently to the words being spoken, hoping that I might gain something by simply being present as my brothers and sisters prayed.
The canticle (page 990) included these words, which meshed nicely with the discussion on the Holy Spirit that had taken place in my formation group.
“I will give you a new heart
And place a new spirit within you,
Taking from your bodies your stony hearts
and giving you natural hearts.
I will put my spirit within you
and make you live by my statutes,
careful to observe my decrees.”
Immediately after this, while I listened to the ongoing prayer with my eyes closed, I thought about what it would be like to levitate during prayer. As soon as that thought was complete, I followed it with “not for my glory, Lord, but for yours.”
This is a thought I have regularly ever since reading an account of the levitation of St. Thomas Aquinas. Hopefully it is not sinful to aspire to a level of holiness where a miracle of this sort might happen to me.
What was different today is that I immediately experienced a deep pang of recognition that revealed to me the dishonesty in my desire. I knew beyond denying that I wanted this achievement not for His glory, but for mine. I immediately understood this recognition as a revelation of the Holy Spirit. And I immediately understood that I could never experience a miracle such as this as long as my motives were so selfish and lacking in humility.
I struggled to grasp and internalize this for the rest of the Liturgy of the Hours. Then the Mass started and the Gospel was read, and I heard these words from Matthew 23:5 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+23&version=NIV) in reference to the teachers of the law and the Pharisees:
“All their works are performed to be seen.”
These words rang in my head as confirmation of the revelation I had just experienced. I don’t know how else to describe what happened to me except to say that today, Jesus spoke directly to me through the Gospel and the Spirit.
I also don’t quite know what to do about it. I don’t think I understand how to gain the degree of humility that this revelation of the Spirit is asking of me.
As much as I have considered conversion, I have little confidence that I know how to make this happen for myself.
As much as I desire holiness, I doubt my ability to achieve it at the depth that I had been fantasizing about.
In formation this morning, I emphasized to my group the radical nature of the change that comes when the Holy Spirit is active in your life. I told them to be prepared for a level of change that will be uncomfortable. They should expect the Spirit to lead them to a place so radically outside of current societal norms that functioning within society on a day to day basis can be a major challenge.
As many times as I have emphasized the ongoing nature of conversion to my group, I realized today that I have been mistaken about my own conversion, thinking that I had already achieved much when in fact I have so very far yet to go.
Today I found out that in truth I have hardly begun the process. And other than to pray for guidance and help, I doubt my capacity for achieving what needs to be achieved.
I can’t help but wonder if Jack Minard had something to do with this. This morning Dick reiterated Jack’s words the last time they spoke. “I’ll put a good word in for all of you when I get there.” And thirty minutes ago I got Sister’s email saying Jack had been called home this morning before my day had gotten started.
It’s not hard at all for me to see Jack’s hand in this. Our questing was similar enough that he would understand more than most how this might impact me. And he would have relished the chance to put this in front of me, thinking it was just what I needed to keep me moving along the path we shared.
So thanks Jack, for one last challenge, one last gift.
Now I need your help to see it through. Pray for me, Jack, as I have been praying for you.
Pray for me, Jack, as I have been praying for you.
Thanks, Tim, for writing this peek into how the Spirit of Jesus and His Gospel was working in you yesterday — surely with Jack’s help. He’s been very busy since Sister Death took him home to the Father and he’s already taking care of all of us in general as well as some of us in particulate. When we pray the Creed we always profess our belief in the Communion of Saints. Jack’s presence with us in the last 24 hours is enough to make believers out of unbelievers. I’m sure we’ll share more of the specifics as the days past. I will forward your reflection to Ruthi for inclusion in PACE E BENE!
We are all a work in progress my dear brother in Christ. There are so many times that we think we are getting it only to realize we have stepped backwards again. So we stumble and we fall that is part of our human imperfection. I will share with you what our Lord has told me countless times. “What are you going to do about it!!!!” As for me I get back up and I keep trying and stay focused on GOD. As for the Liturgy of the Hours having the Divine Office app on my iPod has really help me to focus on the prayers instead of trying to flip hear and there and still not getting it right. Peace to you
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